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Wednesday, July 02, 2003

As Toll Rises, Families Wait, Worry 

KEEP YOUR HELMET ON!

As Toll Rises, Families Wait, Worry
2 months after Iraq war declared over, soldiers' loved ones back home coping with the uncertainty
By PETER WARD, Sun Staff
LOWELL When she hears news about an American soldier killed in Iraq, Michelle Latour shudders.
"I have no idea if it's my brother," Latour, of Puffer Avenue in Lowell's Centralville neighborhood, said of Air Force Senior Airman Gary Latour, 24.

"My wife is a nervous wreck," added her father, Paul Latour, a janitor at the Cardinal O'Connell School. "That's her baby. She'll be glad once he's back in the states."

Also relieved will be dozens of Greater Lowell families of soldiers among the United States' 146,000 troops still stationed in Iraq and Kuwait as part of Operation Iraqi Freedom. President Bush declared combat in Iraq over on May 2. But in recent weeks, more than a dozen U.S. and British troops have died from gunfire or bomb blasts.

The war is not over, insist the families.

ON THE HOME FRONT: Paul and Dolly Latour hold a picture of their son, Air Force Senior Airman Gary Latour, who continues to serve in Iraq. Joining them, from left, are family members Emily Mascari, 7, Amanda Mascari, 13, Joe Mascari, Michelle Mascari, Doris Montmarquette, Paul Latour, Elaine Thibeault, Marcelle Thibeault, Jennifer Latour, Edgar Montmarquette, Stephanie Mascari, 11, Al Montmarquette, Lorraine Latour, and Richard Latour. SUN / BOB WHITAKER



"There's still enemies out there," said Mona Champoux of Lowell, whose son, Eric Durand, a Chelmsford postal carrier, is a private first class in an Army unit north of Tikrit in Iraq. "It's still nerve-wracking."

Anxiety is settling in among soldiers' spouses, kids and siblings who have had to live with an unsettling feeling about their loved one's safety, coping with an absence in the family and uncertainty over when their loved one may come home.

Diane Monbleau of Dracut, mother of 35-year-old Army Maj. Philip Monbleau, recently spent five weeks at Fort Huachuca in Arizona helping her daughter-in-law during the birth of the couple's third child. Monbleau was allowed to come home from Kuwait for two weeks, for which the family is grateful, then returned to Kuwait.

"Although it was very rewarding for me to see my grandchildren and be of help to my daughter-in-law, it was very costly as I took a leave of absence from my job without pay," said Monbleau. "As with many families, the children are most affected by the absence of their fathers or mothers."

The family of Army Staff Sgt. Norman Lyko of Dracut wife Nancy, and children Timothy, 12, Aimee, 9, and Catherine, 8 were accustomed to his annual departures for stints in the reserves.

And in April, it seemed the same.

"It was teary, but nothing more than normal, but this is finally taking a toll, especially on our 12-year-old son," said Nancy Lyko.

His deployment first to Fort Drum, N.Y., in February, then to Kuwait in April meant his wife had to stop working nights while her husband was away. It also meant missing two of his children's birthdays, his wedding anniversary and the first Holy Communion at St. Francis Church on May 3 of their 8-year-old daughter, Catherine.

Some people find it disconcerting that the patriotic fervor and focus on America's fighting force, once intense, seems to be fading.

"More like, 'Out of sight, of mind,'" said Dawn Sheehy, mother of Army Sgt. Michael Blute, 27, of Lowell. She said co-workers at her job at Boise-Cascade in Billerica had filled bins with snacks and toiletries that were shipped to her son's 59th Military Police Company in Turkey, Kuwait and Iraq. But when she recently looked, "The box was empty."

The spate of recent killings in Iraq has made families especially grateful for the scratchy phone calls and brief e-mails they receive.

"I talked to him the other day, and I don't know if he's going to Iraq or was in Iraq. He can't tell me, but he's OK," said John Lindsay, father of Marine Corps Lance Cpl. Brian Lindsay, 20, a Lowell High School graduate who operates a Howitzer cannon on a military vehicle. "We're a little anxious for him to come home."

Lindsay, a contract employee for Materials Systems in Littleton, paused during the interview.

"I get choked up when I talk about him," he said.

Brian's deployment had at least one unintended consequence.

His parents, divorced, had once been "at each other's throats," as Lindsay put it.

But because their son was alternating dispatches to his parents, the pair was now informing each other about the latest communication.

"Brian said, 'It's about time you and Mom actually had a conversation,'" Lindsay said.

A soldier's absence can cause financial hardship for family members waiting at home.

Luckily, that's not the case for Nancy Lyko, the Dracut wife of the staff sergeant in Kuwait, who in the Army earns twice what he makes at home.

"So financially we're doing fine, and that's making his whole time away easier on us," she said.

Lorraine Mellen of Lowell, a 63-year-old disabled former copy machine specialist, was collecting $200 a month in rent from her son, Army Reservist Sgt. Frank Saucier, when he was living in an upstairs apartment with his brother, Roland.

"I'm able to manage," said Mellen.

Saucier, a military police officer deployed to the Middle East on Easter Sunday, has written letters home describing Iraq's blistering heat and how he got a glimpse of Saddam Hussein's castle.

"I put the TV on in the morning and if something happens I think it won't be him," she said. "But he went to Bosnia and he came back. He went to Desert Storm and he came back. He'll come back."

Some soldiers have returned home or are on the way.

This past weekend, Jerry and Marie Mayotte traveled to Norfolk, Va., to welcome home their son, Navy seaman Timothy "T.J." Mayotte, 22, who's been abroad since January.

His father and 17-year-old brother, Keith, will be among 600 family members transported to Mayotte's ship, the U.S.S. Kearsarge, on the last night before it heads into home port.

Despite the relief and happiness of her son's return, "I feel bad," said Marie Mayotte. "We have friends whose son is a Marine still over there and they have no idea when he's coming back. So my yellow ribbon and candle are staying put until there's a resolution. I originally put them up for T.J. Now, they'll stay up longer."

Peter Ward's e-mail address is pward@lowellsun.com .

ON THE HOME FRONT: Paul and Dolly Latour hold a picture of their son, Air Force Senior Airman Gary Latour, who continues to serve in Iraq. Joining them, from left, are family members Emily Mascari, 7, Amanda Mascari, 13, Joe Mascari, Michelle Mascari, Doris Montmarquette, Paul Latour, Elaine Thibeault, Marcelle Thibeault, Jennifer Latour, Edgar Montmarquette, Stephanie Mascari, 11, Al Montmarquette, Lorraine Latour, and Richard Latour. SUN / BOB WHITAKER

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